I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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