problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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