Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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