community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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