their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
