Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
