Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
