meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
