This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook