dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.