the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT