Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize