2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
