I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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