we're blogging at a bar
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
