Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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