i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize