Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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