If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
