Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize