I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i will never coherently bang her
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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