It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
As shirtless as possible
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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