Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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