Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
