No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
