Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
