it hurts more in the daytime
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He felt like a one man threesome
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
