I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
