I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
