I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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