too bad you live with your parents still
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
