I can tuck mytits in my pants
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize