spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
