..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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