don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My pussy is not your playground.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
