He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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