There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize