Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
