They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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