You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
