hotel room ftw
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
