I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
