the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
