too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
