I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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