My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize