Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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