I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
