Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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