i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
