it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
