we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
