Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
