He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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