I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I need a beard to bite.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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