how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
