windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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