Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
