Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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