she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
