By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
