I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
