Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
