wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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